Thursday, April 22, 2010

Is it just my kids?

One of my current challenges with Jack and Isabel is regarding the appropriate use of the toilet. No Jack, it does not double as washing machine. Isabel, your Eeyore probably doesn't need to sit on the toilet. (Not that it matters now anyway since she has him in nappies. And yes you thought right, Eeyore is a donkey.)

This kind of thing is not really the problem. The problem is that they don't use the toilet when they actually should have. Jack has realized he has the ability to pee anywhere, and Isabel is young and impressionable and if Jack does it, that's good enough for her. This, combined with accidents and bedwetting, means that a large percentage of my life is spent washing sheets, clothing that was peed on, airing out Jack's mattress, scrubbing carpets and laying down old towels on the tiles.

Jack somehow got an idea in his head that any hole, anywhere, counts as a toilet. This includes the drain on the bathroom floor, a hole he has dug outside, or his 'outside toilet'. He actually made a special place outside to pee. We have a toilet!! Two toilets, to be clear! Why does he insist on going outside? And to make this situation even better, Isabel has started copying him. I'll catch her squatting on the lawn (and she's doing number twos). The neighbours must love what they hear from my backyard. "Isabel...what are you- argh!! No!! Isabel! That's what the toilet is for!" followed by "Mummy, why are there flies?"

And let's not forget the indoor incidents. Think same thing, but on the carpet. Randomly pulling her pants down, squatting, and pooing on the floor. It's like she is actually choosing the comfort of her own lounge room! Lounge room, or next to the shower, when I am in the shower...

I think today Jack exceeded all of my expectations as I picked him up from kindy. He was playing on the playground and I started to head over, as I noticed he had dropped his pants and was peeing, midstream, in front of children, parents, EVERYONE, at pick up time. Realizing I was already too late, I hid. I needed to preserve doubt that it was my kid (again). When he pulled his pants back up, I peeked my head out from behind the slide and whispered loudly,"Jack! Come here!" I waited for him to come and then we hurried off and escaped.

So, my question would be- is it just my kids?


  1. It's not just your kids.
    I have the added problem of the fact that Ollie seems to hate wearing pants. And a 6 year old that still wets the bed EVERY NIGHT. ugh. I wish they would stop

  2. Have I told you about the day one of my kids smeared the walls in our hallway with poo just as my sister had arrived to pick up her kids that I was looking after!... this same child was naked in the living room after a bath and poo'd right there on the floor (luckily it was a tiled floor) right in front of Toby who didn't notice a thing!! (was watching tv) I came in a few minutes later and was none too happy to discover the usefulness (!?) of my husband.

    At least I didn't taste test the brown substance on my kitchen cabinets, unlike my sis! hahahahhaha (I think she thought it was chocolate)

    however I must admit to taking far too big a whiff of suspected dirty nappies and then gagging from the smell but then proceeding to take a good big whiff again the next time, why did I never learn from that!?

    as for wet bedding, still there, not every night at least. Let's say I love plastic sheets, I love dryers and I love 5 year olds who get up and put their wet clothes in the laundry sink, wipe themselves down with a wet wipe, get dressed in new dry clothes and only then come to tell me about the wet bed!! so cool, all I have to do is strip the bed, chuck it in the machine and throw together a new set of bedding (sometimes the couch and a pillow and blanket suffice)

    Oh, and said 5 year old loves to water the trees too!


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