I have nothing to wear....

It has been 5 months since I gave birth to my third child Sophia. I put on the most weight with her and am losing it very slowly...so slow in fact the numbers on the scale are currently staying the same... So this creates a dilemma. On the one hand, I was fully prepared to be patient and wait it out, and then get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes, some of which I bought just before getting pregnant and have never even worn (including a trenchcoat)! It seemed pointless to buy new clothes that I would hopefully only be wearing for a few months, until I was back to my regular size.

However, here I am, 5 months later, with 12 kg still to go. I think by the time I lose the weight it will be the wrong season to wear all those new clothes I never got to wear! And the clothes I am wearing now look really hideous. My jeans are all wrinkly and kind of baggy, most of my shirts don't comfortably fit over my bust, and my maternity clothes are too big. Plus, all of the shirts that I squeezed into while pregnant are now very stretched- so most of the time I look like a hobo. This bothers me.

Trying to get dressed up for church or to go out somewhere nice is the WORST. I can't just wear jeans and a top, I have to actually reach into my wardrobe and pull out a top and a bottom that vaguely match, or in which the styles work together. And chances are, my maternity bra made out of the most beautiful grandma-style lace you have ever been forced to wear, will be sticking out the top by about 3 cm. And shoes! Why buy shoes to go with certain styles of clothing when you have basically been pregnant for the last 5 years and stopped noticing clothes that aren't sack shaped?

Did I mention I am also poor. As if I'm going to spend money on clothes when I keep planning on losing weight, like any day now.

Please feel free to share your hints and secrets of dressing after pregnancy, because after three times I still haven't figured it out!!

Chocolate is always the answer

I am an extreme chocolate lover. And not in the all-women-love-chocolate way. I mean that I don’t see the point in eating junk food that isn’t chocolate, because why should I waste calories that would be better spent on chocolate? I bake chocolate desserts as stress management. My family now knows that if I warn them something is rich, then they should seriously reconsider a large serve. My Mum asked me to make a cake for a family members birthday, and followed with, ”But something edible.” I also quite enjoy the taste of chocolate dipped in melted chocolate…

There could potentially be several problems to accompany my craving for chocolate, but one I am often faced with is finding an appropriate hiding place for it. When my husband Dave and I had been married for a couple of weeks, I hid the chocolate at the very top of the cupboard. I forgot that as he is 6”4 that it was right in his eyeline. I have not made that mistake since! Now, however, the biggest culprits are my children.

I can’t really blame them, I guess it is just in their genetic makeup. Plus, I probably ate it all through my pregnancy, and the breast milk they had as infants was probably choc milk. Yet I must say I am often kind of impressed (and irritated) with their sneakiness.

When Jack was a small toddler, I had baked triple chocolate muffins and left them on the kitchen bench top while they cooled. While I was out of the room, to my annoyance, he stole SEVEN. When I confronted him, he said, ”But they’re so tasty.” He continued in this pattern of behaviour, as on another occasion, each muffin had a bite taken out of it. He couldn’t just destroy one?? No, he had to taste each of them.

He soon taught his sister Isabel to be his accomplice. I recall the times I would think, “It is really quiet- what are the kids up to?” I would go and find them, in the kitchen. Jack would be in the cupboard standing on a chair while Isabel would be by the cupboard as ‘lookout’. This did help them learn teamwork though.

More recently, I have found a trail of Ferrero Rocher wrappers on the ground and regretted leaving them on my study desk. If I have chocolate, I have learned to mask the sound of unwrapping the foil, and keep my mouth away from them so they can’t smell it on my breath.

Yesterday when Jack found my family block of Top Deck and ate nearly half, it suddenly occurred to me- what an excellent excuse to buy another block. And I have to say, with that cheeky smile he flashes when he’s been caught, as if to say “Oops! But lucky I’m cute!” he has probably earned what he stole anyway.