This one's a serious one.

WARNING: This post contains some disturbing material involving children.



























Last week I read about an extremely tragic event in Connecticut. This happened three years ago. I think most people would agree that this is an absolutely horrific thing to happen, and so very sad for the father left behind.

Following is a segment from the article that was particularly poignant.

Petit said he cried at the verdict, "thinking of the tremendous loss."
"Michaela was an 11-year-old little girl tortured and killed in her own bedroom, surrounded by stuffed animals."


Some of you might be wondering why exactly I am writing about this.

You might know a song called "Love the way you lie" by Eminem and Rihanna. The lyrics can be found here Here is part of it. "If she's ever tries to f---ing leave again I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire".

This does not promote respect for women, or equality between the sexes. It depicts men as having power in relationships, and using violence against women to keep it. Women have the very important role of being punching bags.

Rihanna herself was famously beaten up by her former boyfriend Chris Brown. This was quite a big deal. Photos of her bruised face circulated and the particular attack was described as being quite vicious, including Rihanna being bitten. I have tried to fathom how a young woman who has actually been the victim of violence could then participate in a song eroticising the very same thing. The most obvious point I considered was that maybe it was not supposed to be glamourising domestic violence, but just creating awareness of an important issue. HOWEVER- that theory doesn't actually hold up.

Things I learned from this song.
- Domestic violence makes for a more passionate, intense relationship.
- If a man loves a woman very much, he will want to kill her for leaving.
- Women enjoy being abused (see lyrics like "...stand here and watch me burn, it's alright because I like the way it hurts", or even the title of the song)

Even if it this song really was about creating awareness of domestic violence, the message would still most likely go right over the heads of the performers' young fans. Here are some comments from the youtube music video page (with over 200 million hits).

surething6996: awesome kick ass song love the way eminem is so passionate in this song
1990ravetoxic: wow very nice,,,I love the story,,,,and the song of course..the singers...very nice... perfect...
la8dyc: megins right hook......i have done that....then had the best sex ever...
MrFROHOE: i never thought people burning a live could look so sexy, but...DAMN!

Violence against women is still a very real problem in the world, even in (especially in?) western cultures. As I read about the Petit family in the paper, I felt sick at the thought that many young people love and celebrate this music, but it is not unheard of for men to tie girls to their beds and burn their houses down.

I am disgusted by the evidence I see around me of men who hate women. But what I really don't understand is when women participate in their own exploitation.

Rant rant rant...

I hadn't watched music videos since I was a teenager, and even then I had to admit they seemed overly sexual. Earlier this year, I joined my local gym. There are several TV sets mounted on the wall. One of them is always set to the music video channel, and while using cardio machines you can't help but get bored and look around, and check out what is on the different TVs. I have been stunned with what is shown and possibly even more stunned at the fact that nobody appeared to have a problem with this. It seems like just anything goes, as long as it is under the premise of "music video".

What I am seeing is softcore pornography. I see many ideals promoted that I strongly disagree with.

In music videos, women are scantily clad . They dance, grind and gyrate in a sexual way (is there another way??), they are submissive to men and appear happy to be used for sex. And they do all this while still looking glamourous, thin and hot.

If I am to take as gospel what I have learned from music videos then it is this:

• Casual sex/hook up sex is glamourous and everyone does it.
• A woman's place on earth is to please men sexually.
• Women are submissive to men- and women LOVE this. They always seem to be happy, right?
• Gang rape is hot, and also what women want.
• Sex is meaningless and should be detached.
• Being thin and hot comes above all else.

As a young woman who has spent enough time obsessing about her appearance, I know better than to take in what is being put out there. But I'm not immune. I too can be a little sucked in. 'If only I looked that hot, my life would be perfect.' Luckily I do know better most of the time.

Too bad for the adolescents who don't.

Check this trailer out. It looks very interesting.

WARNING: It is confronting, please be aware.