If I was a rich girl

Remember how when you were younger and in love, and you had this romantic notion that you didn't need anything else as long as you could just be together? That money wasn't important, and the only thing that really mattered was your love?

This is a rumour spread by poor people to make themselves feel better. I know this because I am a poor person who spreads rumours like this to make myself feel better.

I remember sitting on the old, torn couch at my husband's place, The Boys House, when we were seriously considering getting married, as we did the sums to work out how we could balance full-time university, part time jobs, and Centrelink allowances. I thought, 'Wow, Centrelink! We're rich!' HA. So naive. We were married and found a rental unit in Scarborough that were among the few that we could afford. We actually have a lot of fond memories of living there, across the road from the beach, sleeping on our mattress with our blanket. My husband loved that he could check the surf from our bed, and decide if it was worth it or not. (It usually was.) We would go for early morning dips and walk around Scarborough at night. We loved the feel of the area, kind of old, but with the beach vibe, despite some "scumminess", which came in the form of our neighbours. They spent their days drinking, not wearing shirts and having noisy, violent fights, with at least one involving a woman being beaten. The police visited often. At this point early on in our marriage money was very tight. (Still is!) I would spend $40 a week on groceries.

Back to that idea of "all we need is each other"- when you can't afford decent shampoo or to get your hair done or you legs waxed, you can begin to question some of these things! Financial hardship can be quite a strain. Last time I went to get some waxing done, my beauty therapist said, "It's been awhile, it's been four months!" And I said "Yes, it feels like four months..." based on scary high levels of hairiness I had been exhibiting.

This week our family car died. It is the sixth car we have had as a married couple, and we have not yet been married for six whole years. This is because we have only been able to spend a very small amount of money on a car, so we buy a bomb, then soon enough it requires thousands of dollars of work which we can't afford, or it gets a yellow sticker, or it dies. How much easier (or less complicated) would life be if we were wealthier? I wouldn't be leaving the car at the gym because it won't open and we couldn't afford to replace the central locking system. I wouldn't spend so much time pushing 3 kids around in a pram meant for two. And our car wouldn't break down late at night on a completely dark country road in the middle of nowhere when I have about $2 credit on my phone. Actually, if I was rich, I would have enough phone credit. Maybe my husband would have a pair of pants without a sizeable hole in the crotch (he calls these his "air conditioned pants"), or I could afford clothing that fits and was not previously thrown away by someone else.

After this last week of car trouble, my frustration has nearly reached boiling point. I have, however, started looking at the situation from a different perspective however. While it seems natural to say "Why me???" or wonder when thinks are going to start going right, I have tried to stop seeing the glaringly obvious negative, and start seeing some potential positives.

The other night when my car broke down, I honestly had to laugh, it just seemed so ridiculous, and also somewhat like an urban legend. I was thinking about how I was driving, singing along to The Fray (my husband hates them soooo much, haha) and the radio just cut out. I was concerned, but hoped maybe it was just an electrical problem (because that's so much better). Then I started to wonder, 'Are the lights always this dim?' And that's when I thought, 'Oh dear, my battery is going to die...please let me make it to my destination FIRST and not on this quiet scary dark part of Gnangara road!' Very soon after, my lights went off and it was pitch black, and I swerved off the road because I literally could not see. I am getting to my point now. It occurred to me that while I was aware only of the difficulties my family had been facing, I hadn't been paying attention to the blessings and the good things we have. When my lights went out and I swerved, things could have ended very differently. Maybe the blessing here was that while inconvenienced, I was perfectly safe. I imagine if I had been seriously hurt, I would have wished and prayed for these circumstances which I did find myself in.

As for being poor, I am pretty tired of it. I think I am an expert and having achieved expert level status I should be allowed to move up. But if the alternative to this would have been to delay getting married, or having children, and finding full-time work so we would be a double income family, I would still choose this. All my happiness comes from my family. They make my life worth living. For them, I will continue to endure life as a hairy badly groomed 25 year old. Still waiting to see if I have any long-lost wealthy ninety year old relatives though.

Battle of the boycott!

Hello there!

Sorry, it's been awhile. It's been one of those months with little sleep. However, my baby does have three teeth now, so, worth it? I'm sure you have all been frantically checking for new posts and getting very disappointed...all three of you followers, haha.

Well, writing this blog is kind of therapeutic for me, so never mind. Here's something that has been on my mind this week.

There are some things that I feel very strongly about, I suppose they would fall under the category of 'Women's issues'. Anyone who has seen my facebook page or even read this blog before is probably well aware of that. One of the biggest issues for me has been described as the 'pornification' of our culture. I think the word pornification is pretty self explanatory, but to explain it further I would say it is about the mainstreaming of pornography, or porn culture, or perpetuating an ideology where women are purely objects to be used by men. That is a basic definition of what I'm referring to, and if I go any more into it right now I will start getting really angry and typing really fast while clenching my jaw...whew.

I believe that I can make a difference to this problem, as we all can. Maybe just a small difference, but at least stir up some change. I can do this (and have several times) by speaking out where appropriate, writing letters to those who promote these ideals or those who are responsible for regulating particular industries, and boycotting certain companies and refusing to buy their products.

No, I don't believe that a huge corporation will be severely stung by my withholding my money. I do believe that maybe if many people do the same thing, or the companies are concerned that others will do the same, they may be pressured to reassess their advertising strategy (or whatever is the problem). I know many companies make products supposedly to meet customer demand, therefore if I don't purchase products made by sleazy companies, I am not proving them right. They can't turn around and say, See? Our product is selling really well, so obviously there is a demand for it, or obviously nobody is offended by our style of advertising.

More than these small things, this is a matter of integrity for me. I feel uneasy about giving my money to corporations who glamourise or promote ideas that are just wrong. Think about it, if I buy products from one of those companies, I am directly helping them grow and prosper. This does not sit well with me.

I might have to give some examples of dodgy companies/promotions, but I think that will make this post way too long so maybe next time...

So here is where things become blurry for me. Do I boycott everything that I deem to be offensive? How much trouble should I go to to boycott these products? Can or should I be more sensible while still being able to be comfortable with myself?