Many new mums will tell you sleep deprivation is very effective torture. I completely agree. It is amazing how messed up your head can be when you have been days without real sleep, and how logical you can be after catching up. Logical according to my standards, not my husband's, which are very very incredibly high.
I often have found after having a new baby, that I would be surprised at how well I could cope on so little sleep- for a few days. Then I would lose it. Then, I would once again surprise myself at how well I was coping without sleep (except for that meltdown, of course) and I continue doing okay, not as good as normal, of course, but okay, until the next meltdown....and the cycle continues.
I think the reason that between 'episodes' I maintained a vague level of normalcy is because after having a baby you fully expect to get very little sleep, and that you will sleep at any opportunity you can, prioritizing it over housework or cooking. But when I don't have any reason to expect to be sleep deprived, it hits me so much harder.
So fast forward to the present day, and I now have three children. None of them are newborn babies anymore, and they all at one point mastered sleeping through the night, and even at some stages sleeping right through the night, from about 7-7 (woohoo!) So how is it that I get no sleep anymore?
My husband has been away for almost a week, and I am soooooo relieved he comes back early tomorrow morning. With my husband home, there is someone to share kid duty with during the night- and when I say share, taking turns pretending to be asleep and getting elbowed by the other saying, "Your turn!" With my husband away, I have been solely responsible for our kids, who on a typical night wake up twice each. You do the math. So on any given night, I have been up six times. And let's not forget the extra fun stuff, like a teething baby, or a vomiting toddler who refuses to use a bucket and left a trail from one end of the house to the other, oh yeah, and that big one who wets his bed about every second night, sometimes twice in one night.
The alarm goes off and I scrunch up my face and think "Seriously??? Time to wake up? I didn't get any sleep yet!" Then I wake up and see a giant pile of extra washing, covered in vomit and pee and remember all the things I have to do that day before I can go back to bed again that night.
I love my bed. It is my happy place. I have become one of those people who collapses into bed at the end of the day and makes an audible noise, an internal sigh signifying both frustration and relief, like an old person. I have fallen asleep at the movies (like my Mum!!)
Oh yes, and somewhere in there I am supposed to find extra energy for working out, housework, being energetic with my kids and something to stimulate my mind and wake it up from its zombie like state.
I'm so looking forward to my husband coming home! But if he walks in and says "I'm SO tired..." I may just throw one of those children who is still awake at him.
I like something a friend said recently. It was a post about hope and she said "Instead of focusing on my immediate thought of how pathetic I am and what meds I probably need..." I love how the meds were just thrown in there, like a given for a mother of young children. She's so rad too, I don't see the negative stuff that she says about herself at all. Anyway, your post made me think of it because I think when we're going through the sleep deprivation stages of parenthood that we all go a little crazy. The less sleep, the more crazy. I'm not even sure if I've returned to good mental health yet, probably not eh.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you will have your husband home soon.
I came across a little tip for the bedwetting and that is to get the kids going yoga type squats with you. If they firm up their gluts then they will have less bedwetting incidents, or so the recommendation goes. So maybe you could create a kiddy glut workout using your personal training skills to the music of your choice, and by your choice I mean YOUR choice. None of this Hi-5 business. Something that lifts your mood too.
xox
Thanks for the tip Maureen! I remember reading on your fb page the article about strengthening the glutes to improve pelvic floor. What was unclear to me was, did they mean squatting like as if you were peeing on the ground, or 'softer' squats?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm so happy my husband will be home tomorrow. I am at that point of tiredness where I remember I am holding a baby and can't remember if I just fed her, or if I was just about to...so she either gets fed twice in a row or not at all, oops!
Seeing you achieve your Body Balance goals is very inspiring to me, maybe there is hope yet! xx
There is definitely plenty of hope. I guess it's a matter of remembering that even though it looks like some people are 'doing it all' they're probably not. I really believe that we have to make choices about what we have in our lives. I am glad that I spent lots of time with my kids when they were young. I think I could have spent a bit more time studying or something else outside of motherhood. I did have the gym and girls nights so at least that is something. I wish I had read more but I do remember being so dog tired that I just wanted to veg infront of a movie or sleep. But yeah, that was time for me to really be mum and I feel lucky to have had that time. Now I need to still be thoughtful about what I choose to have in my life. I want to have good things, inspiring things in my life. I don't want a dead-end job, I want to feel like I contribute. I want to wake up at least most days feeling excited about the day. I'm getting there. Have to keep making adjustments.
ReplyDeleteI don't really know about the squats thing. I just know that my glutes (thanks for the spell check!) are good from the X-trainer and from all those Body Balance poses, nearly every pose we say "Squeeze your butt"!!